The forgotten soldiers

November 8 2009

Remembrance day is as close to the hearts of the British as is our remembrance day at may 4.

But even though we're not British, we always remember with them.

My father served in the RAF during WW2 and he stayed with a family who lost a dear young man of 21 in 1941.
They waited for him to come home from a flight to Germany, but he never returned.

The day that my father went with the family to the memorial statue and to a special place in the hills where he loved to look over the country is glued in my memory forever.
My children haven't witnessed the depth of the feelings of grief those people experienced, but they've always sensed how touched I was and still am. Out of respect they witness with me the memorial events on TV.

I know that when my father lived, he didn't only remember that fine young man, but also close friends who lost their lives while he waited for them at the airport before he was allowed to fly too. I know he'd seen far too much of life and death for a person his age, when he was in WW2. He carried it with him in silence, but I knew.
All I could do was rest a poppy at his desk.

As the years pass, and my father is so very, unreachable, far away, my feelings grief for the lost lives grows.

One of the reasons is that people seem to have forgotten that so many people from The Netherlands, France, Poland and other European countries joined the RAF and lost their lives fighting for freedom.

Like my father, they were giving everything they had in service of the RAF.

But there's no representative for them at the remembrance events, no one who lights a candle, who holds a flag, or who puts a wreath at the Cenotaph in Whitehall.

How I wish that next year those brave soldiers, who managed to travel through europe during the brutal occupation of the Germans, cross the Channel and enlisted in the RAF and other parts of the army, will be represented and remembered.

Like all those others they never returned home.

Graphics made with red poppies from Kirstys Scraps and a white poppy from Dakara Creations.
Poem is from The "Ode of Remembrance" from Laurence Binyon's "For the Fallen", which was first published in The Times in September 1914.

Be True to Your School

november 7 2009


1. What was your favorite subject in high school?

Well, I feel a bit ashamed to say, but it depended on the teacher.
I've enjoyed dutch, my native language, with some teachers, enjoyed English with some.
I loved learning. Going to school was a way to stay from home during the day.

2. Do you watch reality shows? Which ones?

No, our family life is enough of a reality show.
I watch soaps: As the world turns, Casualty, Holby.

3. What's your favorite all time reality show?

I have none.

4. Do you feel "reality" shows are real or are they faked?

I really don't care.

5. What did you look like when you were a teenager?

Like a fashion model: tall, slim.
Others saw it, I didn't. Isn't it a shame?

6. Whose advice do you listen to?

I have no one to give me advice, so I have to find things out myself.
There's just one friend who is considered "wise", even though he never ever would admit he is. I value his opinion a lot. But I hardly see him, let alone have a long talk with him.

7. How often are you sick?

Well, I'm one of those people they call now: "with underlying diseases".
I feel ill quite often, but I can't give in.
But last week I had a bad few days because of the flu.
I would have loved to take it easy a few more days, but alas!

8. Do you like or dislike change?

I love change.
I'm not a person of lists, or fixed daily plans.
In fact I don't like appointments and a full agenda.
Best is to go with the flow.

9. How many times in your life have you had a broken heart?

Let's think.
H.
H.
M... but he's more an unanswered love, like with another H.
I cherish the memories.

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Logo made by me with tubes from Outlaw by Design.
You can request the logo, but only when you'll credit properly.

autumn drop

A job for my asperger son

november 5 2009

He did it!

He was asked for a job!!!
Asked....
In this time...

He, my son with asperger syndrome and ADD, had a terrible time at school.
People telling he was weird, should be more social, should walk normal, should talk more.

He was hiding in a fantasy world with trains, and trains and more trains.

And then suddenly he dropped out of school.
We didn't see it coming because the school didn't bother to inform us properly.

For a few months he tried another school, and that was it.

At home he was busy computering, trying out programming and then even started to take computers apart.
With each month that passed we were more aware that he should study in that direction.

We found a school for individual teaching, he applied and studied so hard that he did more in a shorter time than anyone else there.

For practical assignments he had to work at a real business.
It took a long time to find a place for him, but all went well in the end.

And now, suddenly, he's asked for a normal, steady job.

Wow!!

The continuing story - No is no, but not for everyone?

november 4 2009

Today we had an appointment with my autistic son's psychiatrist.

We wanted to hear his opinion about my son having problems going to daycare, and we wanted to discuss our visit to the national autism center. (See here).

To be honest, I didn't expect much.
Too often we went there to hear something interesting, or to get some backing up in the way we're dealing with our son, and we left with a smile, but nothing more than that.

Well, let's say I love pleasant surprises.
And I got one today.

My son was a bit more open to talk than usual, so we discussed which problems he experienced and what he wanted to change himself.
Ofcourse at first he blamed the daycare itself for being too noisy and such, but I reminded him of our talk a few days ago, in which I told him that he gave autism a chance to rule his life, instead of being the boss over his own autism.

Then he came with some good suggestions how he could get used to the place in a smoother way.
That was absolutely great.

Then we told what we experienced at the national autism center.
That I had the feeling they were pushing us to use their facilities, whereas they offer about the same as daycare here.
It's just a difference in name: daycare vs daytreatment, and a difference in the need to keep one's ego on top. (I hope you understand what I mean.)
The psychiatrist smiled and agreed we could go there in the future, in case we needed them.

He adviced us to take more time to give our son the chance to adjust to the daycare here in town.

Then our son told him all by himself that he thought his meds were not working.
Well, when he doesn't use them, his behaviour is worse.
But we've been dealing with some terrible meltdowns the past weeks, and I was amazed my son put that clearly on the table.

Last time nothing happened, but this time the precription was changed and when everything is OK we can expect changes for the better.

We left with the feeling of being heard and we were all very content with the advice we got.

At home I found a mail from the woman of the national autism center.
I'd mailed her last week that my son didn't want to go there, and that we didn't want to stop daycare here to make him go a lot further from home to a facility which is about the same.

We got an appointment after years of waiting.
When we were referred there we had no facilities for autistic young people in town, but when we were moving up the waitinglist things changed and the organization for the disabled opened their facilities for autistic young people too.

We thought we had a good agreement: when things would go wrong here, he could go there.
To enable him to get a mental picture of the facility there we agreed with an appointment to have a look, she would send us the date.

The secretary did, inviting son and father. Not mom. And at a date we'd mentioned as impossible. She wrote we'd been there for an intake. (Which was wrong as we just wanted to be informed.)

I mailed the secretary back to tell her that date was inconvenient. Using the mailadres of the organisation and putting her name and department in the subjectline. Couldn't go wrong.
I thought it was better to mail than to write a letter to get the wrong appointment canceled so other people could use that time.

The woman we had the first meeting with mailed back at an unpleasant tone, like she was the teacher telling me off for using the wrong pen on the wrong paper.
I should have mailed her.
Then she gave me a summary of the meeting, Like I wasn't able to memorize that myself and mentioned that my son was put on the waitinglist.

Well, when I get a mail from the secretary I mail the secretary.
But I didn't want to sound too intelligent, so I apologized, and immediately after that told her that putting my son on the waitinglist was far too soon, and not wanted.

I stressed again that we came there for information and not to make solid plans for treatment.

Her comment on that mail I found when we got home from the psychiatrist:
She didn't like to mail (she said she liked it when we were there and she gave us her mailadres) and she wanted us to make an appointment with their psychiatrist so we could get clarity over the treatment our son would get there.

Hummmppffff!!

We went there for info and now they want to pull us into treatment we don't want for our son???

What is so difficult to understand?
Doesn't she know the meaning of the word "no"?

Well, it feels like she gets a bonus for every autistic youngster she pulls in there.
What a pity she has to do without it.










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You're very welcome.

I've won at Rena designs

november 3 2009

You know all those give-aways and contests with the endless list of rules and regulations, so long that at the end you need to reread it all. Or with the huge disappointment that you nearly feel slapped in the face by: usa only.

Well, I found a site when surfing around when I was very tired and had to look twice to see that the give-away was a true altruistic give-away.

But I nearly forgot the contest, because I loved the scrapwork at the site and I got so caught up in enjoying the little pieces of art on the site that I went to bed far too late. But not before writing down the url.

The next day I went back and wrote a comment (and a few other ones, because I fell in love with her scrapkits and had to see them all again. LOL!)

OK...are you curious now which site it is?

It's....

Rena Designs

Uh, wait...first read the rest of this post, because I'm sure you'll be as fascinated by her work as I am.

I was very lucky to be one of the three winners and got a very nice collection of scrapbook materials. And I still feel very happy about that!

Scrapbooking is a joy, but I don't have the opportunity often to loose track of time.
Today however I sat down and played around a bit.
I'm not a very good scrapper, and I used a psp tube of Outlaw by Design, because I want my children to keep their privacy. To compare the outcome of scrapping with the kit the same center of design was used.

Here they are:
a bit too large for the blogpost, but I don't want to resize them.
















I made another one, but I'll save that one for later. :)

Rena offers a great range of scrapkits for all sorts of occasions.
They include very useful items, which enable you to prepare very delicate looking scrappages.

Thank you Rena!!!

I should be a monthly topdropper at more than 250 sites

November 2 2009

After my computer crashed due to a dirty trick of one of the sites I was dropping on, I made a list of sites to drop on.

In a way it didn't feel good.
I liked surfing around and I loved finding new participants. Wanted to give them a good chance to become a fully participating member.
So I was hardly mentioned as a monthly topdropper.

But I'm using a list now and I dropped each and every day.
I might have missed a site here and there when I was ill, but I dropped at the sites of my list.

So I think that I should be mentioned as a topdropper at more than 250 sites.

What do you think?

Manic Monday #187

november 2 2009
Most of the U.S. observed Daylight Savings Time yesterday. Is it easy or difficult for you to switch your body clock? Do you suffer from jet lag when traveling?

Well, I'm not living in the USA. We changed the clock a weekend earlier.
Usually I experience troubles switching my body clock. It just refuses to switch.

This time I was ill and I'm still not recovered.
I've decided not to live by the clock, but just to listen to my body.

Jet lag and traveling is just a dream, so I can't answer that question.

If you had to pick one place in your town to bring a tourist, where would you go?

Maybe to the ruins of a castle near the river.
Standing on the former town walls one can see very far on a clear day.

When you travel away from home, do you miss it?

As we're making plans to move to another country... I don't expect to miss my home town a lot.
I miss a bit how it was, when I was young.
But there have been so many changes and a lot are planned..
It's not really my toen anymore.

Missing my home?
I'll miss a few things and my bed.

So I'll take photos and find myself another bed to feel comfortable in.

Logo made by me with tubes from Outlaw by Design.
It's permitted to download it to your own computer and upload it to your site.
Please don´t direct link, as it slows down my site. I´ll change the link regularly so you´re left with an empty space or a red warning sign.
Please credit properly.

Top droppers november

Thank you all wonderful droppers.
It's been great to see the low number of droppers after the publication of the plans for ads rise again.

Thank you for staying with me.

The top 10 of this month:

The Way I See It
Winesworld's blog
Parent Times
Coming Back to Life
My second trial
Marriage and Beyond
Lisgold
vanillaseven.com
Greetje greets you
Tekkaus


I have created a site and group for former and present entrecardmembers to stay in touch. It can only succeed with participation of each and everyone of you.
Ofcourse I understand that those who were in the game only for money don't care to keep in touch, but all are invited with open arms.

Go to: http://entrewas.blogspot.com
to subscribe or write an empty mail to:
entrewas-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

We're on twitter here.

See you there!!!

Samhain and halloween

october 31 2009

Happy halloween!

and to those who celebrate Samhain:

a blessed Samhain
and
Happy New Year!!!

She's a Beauty

october 30 2009



1. Do you consider yourself beautiful?

Oh, no!
I'm different.

2. Do you think you have a great sense of humor?

Yes, I have. And I sure need it every day, so I'm well trained.

3. What is the funniest thing you ever said?

I don't keep scores.
But I've been asked as a stand up comedian after keeping the whole waitingroom laughing when our doc was called to an emergency.

4. What's the funniest thing you ever did?

Hmm.. ***thinking*** I don't know.
I'm not in the mood to remember.

5. In a partner, how important are looks?

Well, there must be some link between the inner and the outer.
But I can understand that what some people consider handsome, others don't.
I think it's more important how the person is.

6. In a partner, how important is sense of humor?

Very important.
Mine lost his sense of humor, the little bit he had, a very long time ago.
I always feel so stupid when I make fun and he asks me to explain it.

7. What's the funniest thing a partner ever said?

I've been through many funny moments with friends.
But to remember something what's said....

8. What's the funniest thing a partner ever did?

Well, a friend, a very good friend, once went with me on a walk through town when a huge streetfestival was going on.
He took a hand doll with him and started to talk with it to strangers.
In the beginning I felt a bit awkward, but later I couldn't stop laughing.
Wish we could do that again.

9. In a partner, how important is intelligence?

Well, I don't need to be married to a professor.
But a good partner for me would be someone who can debate with me, so some intelligence should be directly available.




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Logo made by me with tubes from Outlaw by Design.
You can request the logo, but only when you'll credit properly.

Familar sounds of the past

October 29 2009



I remember being ill and staying at the house of my gram.

The small room gave me the feeling of a warm embrace.
It's strange, but I can't remember ever wanting to look out of the window.

A shelves with books was above the bed, and it took me years to realize that it might fall down. Two weeks after I thought so it came down, with my favorite book: "The lady with the green coat", on top.

Being ill at my gram's was staying in bed and listening to all the sounds of the house and the world outside.
No radio or TV was needed.

The clocks, the sounds of my gram cleaning.
The vegetables lady opening the door with the key that fitted all houses in the street and her calling upstairs to ask what was needed that day.
The birds, and the bus passing by, stopping at the bus stop and the footsteps of people to their houses.
Even when dozing off one was part of a living world, and waking up gave a feeling of stability and being secure.

The past days I've been dozing on and off and each time I woke up I missed the familiar sounds of the past.
Right in front of me the old clock of my other grandmother.
It stopped working a long time ago and it seems to look with an empty face into the room.

The houses are so well isolated that I need to focus to hear some sounds from outside.

In a way I'm glad that it's time for "As the world turns".
Some life in an empty world.

still ill

october 28 2009

I'm still ill.

Now the girls have their vacation it's a pity I'm struggling with a complete lack of energy.
As far as I can see they don't care much, however.
They've been doing all sorts of things girls their age do: reading, writing in their diaries, listening to music, rearranging their room and being nice to me.

Their father experienced more problems getting used to the fact that I'm not jumping to everyone's needs. Like always when I'm not feeling well he threw a row.
All it made clear is that he lacks a lot of feelings I would have liked to see in a person I once married.

Well, let's say the positive consequence of being ill is that I'm loosing weight, because I'm not interested in food at all.

medical emergency

october 27 2009

Do you know what medical emergency means?
I'm not talking about a broken knee or a fall from a 22 story high building, but about the mexican flu.

When a medical emergency is declared in case of a pandemic like they say the mexican flu is all sorts of regulations that are used to protect our safety can be ignored.

And they are.

Under normal circumstances vaccinations need to be tested on a large variety of variables, including long term effects.
That's why it takes so many years for drugs to be approved.

In a state of medical emergency this requirement is dropped, for instance.

Also certain other safety standards are lowered or ignored.
Under normal circumstances all sorts of groups are tested and within those groups the dosage is carefully established.

In a state of medical emergency less testing is required or generalisations over groups are made without sufficient proof.

Also others standards are lowered.
There is a careful description in the law who is allowed to give shots and who not.
But in a medical emergency dentists, midwifes and other groups are allowed to give shots too.

When shots are not prefilled but must be filled at the scene it's normal to use one needle to get the fluid from the bottle, and use another for injecting it into the person.
In this state of emergency the same needle is used, and doctors here have already established that part of the needles isn't sharp anymore when used to inject, causing unnecessary pain and maybe even causing a greater chance for infection.

But what worries me most is that normal warnings and safeguards to prevent spreading of disease are completely ignored.

Have you seen warnings telling people with an egg allergy to turn to their doctor, because they need a different shot?

And how about the fact that thousands of people have to go to special centers?
What a great way to get the flu even before the shot is working!!

Well, that's why they put a special adjuvans in the european shots. It boosts the immune system to react within 24 hours.
Oh, and in case you want to know: the adjuvans is forbidden in the USA. What does that tell you?

He broke the 10 cm thick wooden dinnertable

october 26 2009

This weekend the clock went back.
All times the clock needs to be reset I walk on the stairs to the place where it hangs, reset it, clean the lot, give the clock a polish and go my way back until I'm at the ground again watching with housewife's content to the shining clock.

It works well.

The father of the cvhildren is getting more and more autistic each year.
I have to run the family almost on my own and I have to deal with the problems he causes too.
Usually he arouses stress in the children by the way he deals with them, and I have to come in between.
He tell the boys they should consider the consequences of their actions, but he's never taken more than 30 seconds to think about what he's going to do.

This morning he felt irritated that the clock wasn't reset yet, probably because he isn't used yet to his own watch and the clock is more familiar to look at.

So he stepped on the table we bought when we moved in here 25 years ago.
It was a round table with a blade of 10 cm thick good wood.
In the middle there were two extensions, well supported and secured by 2 iron rails.

The kids have been dancing on the table without even a sound, at moments I was upstairs or outside busy with the laundry. They were not allowed to do so, but even before I had children I was aware how attractive tables and beds are to jump on.

This morning I woke up by a loud sound of cracking wood and rumble of falling tablewear.

He said he leaned with his knee on the table, but he had the clock removed, and he can't get it without his full weight on the table and standing on it.

I guess he was lucky with the fact that yesterday evening I put a huge pile of laundry on the table, so I could fold it this morning.
It moved to the lower part and I assume he fell on it. Otherwise he would have had at least a broken anckle. (Well deserved...grrrrr.....)

With a fever and dizzy I've been busy all morning to remove the heavy table.
My moving son has the equipment in his apartment, so I had no screwdriver, nothing, so had to use pure force to break the legs from the table.
As I'm the constructioner here and I never ever use glue for furniture, it was not as hard a job as it would have been otherwise.

The lamp is hanging above an empty space, where I will pile up what was on the table.

The same table isn't sold anymore, we need to have a new one.
Some of my favorite things are broken.

I am furious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!