he's to school..

Finally my autistic son is to school again.

Now I need a few weeks to breathe in and breathe out very slowly, to get my heartrate under control.

He missed his first hour, because he kept saying he didn't fit into his pants.
So I pulled them up 5 cm and closed the zipper. No problem..

Then he couldn't find his pens... I just took them from the table and handed them to him.

Then he was in real problems... as he was runnming out of excuses.

No cardigan... the oldest took them from his wardrobe and threw them down the stairs... he didn't want the complaining kid upstairs anymore.

No deo... so up the whole lot of clothes, and I sprayed his armpits like I was spraying musquitos.

No glasses.. wel... on his nose.

The rugsack was too heavy....
I took out a book, had my 3rd son take it, and then he had to leave.

Complaining, complaining...

I just walked upstairs... Couldn't handle more...
I wonder what kind of problems he'll create tomorrow morning and how he'll come back later this day.

Now his voice has lowered the whole childlike behaviour disturbs me more. Maybe because there's a constant feel he isn't normal and I feel like a failure, maybe because in my heart I know it's time he moves to a home with more kids like him.