Am I allowed to be tired?

june 19 2009


Another day too full.

I could hardly get out of bed this morning. My muscles just didn't want to. But I had to.

After all the meetings and appointments of this week work needed to be done to create at least the idea of a decent house.
I feel like a hotel owner who has to do the job all by herself.

In the afternoon my autistic son arranged a job application... and wanted mom to come with him.
Amazing what money can do!
He doesn't dare to look a teacher in the face, hates shopping, doesn't want to leave the house for something pleasant. But because we had no money to pay for all the games he wants he filled in an online application and was invited for a talk.
Ofcourse the guy told me to leave... can't hold his hand when he needs to put items on the shelves. LOL!

When we arrived home again I was so tired that I felt like I'd left my legs outside.

As soon as dinner was ready a discussion started about the mobile phone.
I switch the thing out when I'm not able to take calls or when I can't hear it.
But the father of the kids wants me to be available all the time.
He nearly got a fit when I told him that I was busy when he tried to call me. And he nearly got a second fit when I told him that I'm always available by mail.
Didn't reckon he would tell me that I should check my mail every 15 minutes. (OK, my time to have a fit. LOL!)

Well, with being available for the family 20 hours of the 24 I think I'm doing enough for my family. Don't you think?

Then he got a call.

His mother had surgery a few days ago.
After that she's been very agitated and obsessed to go home.
They had to sedate her.
Yea, well, only after they called here and we had to explain it takes about 4 hours to get there, so we were not able to calm her down.

By the way they described her behaviour I suspect brain damage.
Well, today she managed to pull off the bandages and rip the stitches out.
I have to say I wasn't surprised. When they call the family to calm a patient down instead of managing that themselves, they sure won't keep close watch of when the sedation wears off and she gets agitated again.

So she underwent surgery this evening, after waiting for a slot because of an emergency.
Do we have to wait for a lethal infection now?
Her son is sleeping now and I'm near the phone...in case of..


I wanted to organize a give-away with a sponsoring option to find some money for my vacation in england. But I'm just too tired.
Maybe I need to get a job when I'm there....