The paradox of christmas

december 23 2009



Christmas is slowly coming closer and the snow is melting.
It's the strange paradox of life.
Our fantasies of how things should be and reality.

Christmastime makes me melancholic.

The bright happy faces of families in booklets and on TV, the abundant dinners, they're all in such a shrill contrast with how life is in reality.

The autistic kids are trying to fit in the changed reality of a white world, christmasdecorations and changed schedules on TV.
And we.... we got the surprise of our life with an electricity bill that hit the roof.

Me oh my!!

Our children are tied to the computer, one is afraid to sleep in the dark, they love toasted bread, we have a microwave which is used often because some arrive late at home for dinner, so often we have to eat in two groups.
But such a bill?

Right now it feels like we have to look far ahead, right over christmas, to the birthdays in january to save money to pay the bills.

Christmas should be an occasion to have a special dinner, special cookies .
All I can hope is that the shops hand out something special in the last hour before closing time, like they did last year. (I still have the ugly ornaments, I just couldn't throw the gesture away.)

I really have to forget this bill for a few days and act happy with what we have and don't spend a single moment on what we don't have.

It's warm here. And it's cold outside. Oh baby, it's cold outside.