Nice morning shopping

may 9 2008

I called the dentist early in the morning.
Couldn't get an appointment sooner than next friday!!!!
All I can do now is hope that the rest of the molar won't break off.

Then my oldest and I went to the shopping centre to find him new glasses.
He tried out a lot and ended with one of 299 euro.

So when the woman who helped us left for a moment I told him that he should have another look, as 299 euro is a lot.

When she came back he asked for another look al models that looked the same.
She smiled and told him that she also thought that these glasses were far too expensive.

She handed him a variation on one he already tried, but didn't like.
Now the rim wasn't black, but a nice colour of grey.
When he put it on his whole face seemed to change for the better.

After that we went windowshopping, bought some bread we never have bought before, tasted cheese in a shop and bought a piece, and went home.

We had such a good time!

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A new day... a new future for my son

may 7 2008

Everything feels and looks like it's summer.
I even had the window open all night without feeling cold for a minute.

I'm waiting for one of my sons to leave the shower and hop in myself.

He takes so much time I think I have to walk straight from the shower to the busses to be in time for an appopintment.
Don't worry, I'll dress first.

Just a thin cotton long dress with a matching thin blouse/jacket on it.

He's decided to take his future into retailing.

Last year he started working in a job, just to get some money, and it turned out one of the best decisions of his life.
He loves working there, and he seeks responsibility.

So I phoned a college in town and we're going to have a talk there about which subjects he needs to take and which support he can get.
He's severely dyslectic.

He can do without support.
The lack of, has made him find out all sorts of compensation mechanisms.
But after all the bad expereinces he's had at the school he is now, he deserves a good start at the next educational level.

Do I hear the shower has stopped without me calling over and over and over again?

Yep!!!
Wow!!!

I'm off!!!!

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As a child I wanted to grow up to be...

may3 2008



~Remembering Childhood~

1. As a child I loved to play...?:

in the woods near our house.
It was a completely different world as the world at home.
I could live in my imagination and in nature.
It was all I needed to be happy.

2. As a child I wanted to grow up to be...?:

A balletdancer - managed it.
a writer - did so.
a mother - yep, that worked out too
a world traveller - forget it..

3. As a child my favorite thing to eat was...?:

spinach, with eggs, and mashed potatoes.
carrots, with fish and potatoes.

4. As a child my favorite relative was...?:

My grandmother.


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The trophies

may 2 2008

Another terrible morning, dealing with autism in the raw way.
Since my son is taking his meds in the evening, life is crap for all of us.
So I mailed his psych he'll take his meds in the morning again.

With a firm headache the afternoon started.
The sun, the laundry, the groceries, the vacuuming... nothing helped.

Then a little boy came at the door.
He wanted to speak with me.

With me!!!

He made me feel the queen... so lovely.
His mom had written a letter which he handed to me with a big smile.

"Please praise him into heaven for his baseball trophies,
and please don't send him home too soon.
Maybe the girls want to play with him."

I had a chuckle, seeing two limonade mugs with his name written on it.

He held them high.

"See?"

So the round stickers were supposed to be baseballs? Hmmm...

"These are your trophies?"

"Yes, my father lost. I won."

So he got some sweets, played with the girls for a couple of hours and was sent back to his mom.


Wish I could send all my kids over to her tomorrow morning! LOL!

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Oops, the shops are closed.

May 1 2008

Unexpected birthday celebrations.

We all have to deal with them. So do we.

This morning the girls were up and ready to go quite early for a vacationday.
They needed to go and find a present for a girl we know for a long time.

I´m not sure if I have to say she´s spoiled.
In a way she is, because her parents don´t refuse her a lot, don´t tell her enough what the limits of her behaviour are, and tell her that she´s far more intelligent than tests can give her credit for.

Whatever.
She´s going through a rough time, because she feels she´s different from others.
That´s what her parents wanted, and what she wanted.
But she found out that instead of being better and more intelligent, she´s not.
Which means she sees others as being self confident, and she isn´t confident of herself one little bit.

So no nice book or a bracelet for her birthday.
We intended to find her two nice, warm and soft pillows for her room, so she could feel comforted, quiet and at times throw them to the wall.

Well...there was one thing we completely forgot: the shops are closed.

So instead we have to resort to the bag with gifts that we bring with us when they are for sale.

So a tennisgame it will be.

I think those pillows would have been far better.

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inspection of the waterplayground

april 19 2008

A while ago I told you about the changes in the park near the lake.

Now they have built a kind of waterplayground.

It looks nice. I can't say anything else.

Al sorts of low bridges go across the water, like rope bridges, a swinning bridge, and one where you have to take huge steps.

The fun is ofcourse to step in the water and get wet.

With a few moms we had a look, because we're not glad with this new feature in the neighbourhood.
It's meant well.
And it looks nice.
But who takes care of matters when something happens?

Within five minutes we found spots where children might hurt themselves.
Pointy nails sticking out, uneven wood.

We pointed out these matters to one of the workman.
He agreed these spots were overlooked and walked away, telling us to wait.
When he came back he had a large hammer and one of the DeWalt tools, a kind of electrical saw.
He took care of the uneven wood and slammed the pointy nails flat.

Well, that's one.

Now we have to get the council interested in employing a supervisor.

Someone suggested the parents could take turns, but I don't think it's wise.
Children from other neighbourhoods visit there too, including the worst bullies.
I'm rather firm and strict, but I'm sure they take it against my children and the children of my friends when I send them away.

So it should be someone independent from the neighbourhood.

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exhibition at school

april 19 2008

The school of the girls had an exhibition last week.
All groups had changed their classroom into a museum with pieces of a special country.

One of the girls had a classroom with a lot of interesting information about the inuit.
My girl carved a whale from soft stone and it was exhibited in an ocean with an icemountain.

The other girl made huts of the toeareg. They even made some recipes. And ofcourse I had to taste some...
So the rest of the evening I was smelling of fish. LOL!

Funny things was that I didn't cook fish for dinner because of the smell...
Well, we do a lot for our children, don't we?

After a fashionshow of 5 minutes in the main hall I went to another classroom with teak furniture representing the tropics.

It was nice to see how much effort everyone had taken to make this evening a huge succes.

Another memory to add for the girls.

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Unbelievable!

april 23 2008

I took a few days away from this blog, because I needed some time for other things.

The twingirls got the decision about their application for the new school.

One of them is admitted, the other rejected!

That was an unexpected situation after their teacher told them they both were admitted.

One of the mothers of the children of their group even said she was phoned by the new school. They wanted to know whether her son wanted to be in the same group as the twins.
"Oh yes!", he had answered.

The letter of rejection stated a different schooladvice than we had got.
Are we dealing with a mistake at the side of the new school?
Or did the present school adjust the advice without letting us know?

We were all so very disappointed that we nearly forgot one of the girls should be happy to be admitted.

Luckily we got unexpected visitors, so we all got a little distance.

I have no words for the whole situation.

More than a month ago we had contact with the school about the application.
The woman involved told us she would call when there were any problems.

I guess she forgot....

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she's got her swimming diploma

april 7 2008

She did it!!

She's got her swimming diploma.

It was fun to see her bussy with the little kids in the swimmingpool, but she was more impressive swimming like she's never done something else in her life.

Years ago she was a bit afraid. And she wasn't motivated to learn to swim.

Some parents took their children to swimming lessons for over a year, following the few lessons from school.
I couldn't, and I didn't.

I guess I'm too much of a Maria Montessori mom to force a child into an area of development it isn't ready for.
Even though many people in this watery country consider swimming of utmost importance, I always remember the words of my teacher and collegue (yep, I've been a swimmigntutot for a couple of years).
She said that when children think they can swim and fall in the cold water, they will realise they're in cold water and before they realise they can swim their muscles spasm.

So I told my children to stay away from the lake, and told them to come to me when they were ready to have swimminglessons.

This little lady though managed to convince her teacher that she was just the person (with her twinsis) to fill the empty spaces in the schoolbus and swimmingpool.

Within two months she's got her diploma.

She was proud, soooo proud!!!

And so was mom!!!!

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No casting done for the musical

april 5 2008


We all expected to hear from school which children would have been choosen to play the main parts in the musical.

Friday, the teachers told the children.

But friday passed and all they know is that another audition will follow next week.
Another one, following the extra one of today.

It only means unnecessary stress, and less time to practice for their goodbye to the school.

These last weeks are far to full.

A part is due to the fact that the school celebrated last year an anniversary and skipped for instance the traffic exams. They're added now to the final year.

Well, I told the girls that I won't mind to take over the casting of the musical.
It has been my job in the past for ballet and musical, and I have no favorites (except for my girls, LOL!).

We'll see.

But first the swimming exam of one of the girls next monday afternoon.

We all are going to the swimmingpool!

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swimming exam

april 1 2008

One of the girls came home with great news.

She's allowed to do her swimming exam next monday.

How proud she is!!

It's fun to see her with red cheeks, deciding what to wear.

All children have to wear some clothes for a special part of the test.
Ofcourse I want her to wear old clothes, which would have been thrown away anyway.
But she wants to look good.

Well, I'm sure she won't wear her princess dress and crown, so I'll just wait a few days and hope her brains kick in.

We're all so happy for her.

schoolmusical (s)

march 28 2008

The girls had to audition today for the schoolmusical.
They were quite nervous, because they didn't know what to expect.

They're both singing in a choir, have 6 years of experience on stage with ballet,
so they knew they wanted to go for the main parts.

Ofcourse they had a peek at the first auditions, to get an idea what to expect.
Then they quickly practiced a song and created a dance with pillows, large flowers and veils.

Already it buzzed through the groups that only the names of the best would be written down.

They both felt they did well, and saw their names written down during singing.

The names of those who will get the main parts will be announced next week, but they already know that they're in for a least the songs.


The schoolmusical is always a bussy time here.
The oldest played the main male part in his year. He did marvellous!
He had some great coaches to mold his stage presentation and he showed talent to remember all those suggestions and use them.
I completely forgot it was my son on stage.

We tried to motivate him to become a member of a theatregroup, but he never wanted that. What a loss of talent!

In the year my second son left school there wasn't a proper musical.
Instead we saw him take part in a professional dance performance, which was wonderful!

My third son got one of the 4 main parts in the musical.
He too showed he'd inherited the familytalents.
The doll he made and had to carry with him only disappeared from the table to the attick last month.

When my autistic son was in his final year, we all thought it wise he would hand out the leaflets at the door or stand behind the cookies and fill the plate whenever necessary.
They completely forgot him!!
He still feels hurt, because no one bothered to say sorry.

And it still gets to me whenever I think about it.

And now it's time for my girls.

One of them has the same teacher as my autistic son had.

I hope I can keep my mouth shut.
I'm sure it's better not to ask her not to forget my girl. LOL!

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popcorn machines

march 24 2008

A friend went with her children to a museum where they had a large exposition about popcorn machines.

A while ago I blogged about Stargate Cinema where they sold theatre chairs and other theatre items, so I thought to go and have a look there to see if popcorn machines were sold there.
Yes!

I had a good look through the items and I have to say, it´s really interesting to see all the different machines.

So when my friend came back I had a close look at the museum leaflets... It feels like they have seen the same variety Stargate Cinema has on offer... Oops!

Ofcourse I didn´t say anything.
After eating a lot of chocolates they all went home.

I hope I haven´t given them the flue.

I hate puberty!!

March 21 2008

We were waiting for a signal that our travelling son would be in the country again.

Nothing.
And it got later and later.

The girls fell asleep. They couldn't wait any longer. They had been so happy he was coming home.

Then finally he phoned that he was 10 minutes from school.
Meaning we couldn't be in time to fetch him.
But his oldest brother went through the terrible weather to help him with his bags.
He took him to his room, gave him dry clothes, food and a drink, and was trying to arrange to get him and his bags home as dry as possible.
Meaning that we all would be waiting at the bussstation with plastic and raingear.

But he didn't come home.

He first went to his girlfriend, without even a call home.

When he arrived home at midnight he was disappointed that everyone but me was asleep.
He'd imagined the homecoming we had prepared him, hours ago.

Problem is that he reacted in such a way that I feel bad his homecoming wasn't more pleasant.

Needing an aunt or uncle in London

march 16 2008

A large bag
far too many T-shirts, socks and other stuff to take with him.

Our ADHD son is getting ready for his trip to London tomorrow.

I'm not too happy with this trip.

Don't understand me wrong.

I've been in London for quite some time in the past and i loved it, and i'm sure he'll enjoy his time too...in a way.

But he's going with school, and I'm not sure all will go well.
He can't leave the bullies behind, and he can't leave the teacher behind who considers ADHD some modern foolishness which can be drilled out by punishments, unkind behaviour and more of the same.
After all, he says, ADHD is just the effect of a bad upbringing.

I'm sure that teacher will feel well in Lodnon, where history is so visible.
I hope it catches his attention enough to refrain from punishing my son or watching him like a hawk, waiting for something he considers wrong.

I've considered giving up my savings to book a last minute trip, but fate got in my way. There are no flights with an empty spot from the nearest airport, and travelling to the others will be far too expensive.

So I looked around for some addresses from people from internet who want to help my son, in case he needs some help.
I've found out that teacher is a lot more moderate in his behaviour towards my son when he knows someone is available to point out what we all know: my son is a great guy, but he's got ADHD and he struggles with his impulses.

I'm not expecting huge problems.
Maybe he'll be late somewhere, or he'll order a meal that's too large.
Or he'll just buys too many presents for us all.
Or he's going to have too much fun, laughing too loud, disturbing the inner rest that teacher so much needs.

In case you live in London, (south east of greater London, Orp.) and you want to be an uncle or aunt for 4 days, so he can call you when he needs to vent or needs someone to stand up for him, please let me know.

I'll hand your telephonenumber to the teacher, telling him my son will call his uncle/aunt, when something is the matter.
And I'm sure that teacher keeps quiet during the trip. LOL!

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swimming and the girls

march 10 2008

The girls are eager to go to their next swimminglesson.

A few years ago they had swimminglessons too. It took them so long to learn things...
None of them managed to learn it well enough for a certificate.

The school was allowed to send more children to swimming lessons as they had in the lower groups, so they asked the girls if they wanted to go again.

Sure they did.

Next month one of them will swim for her certificate, and I won't be amazed when the other one tells me the same next week.

I was taught swimming when I was 5.
That was quite an unusual young age then.

My teacher told my father that most older children learned a lot faster than the younger ones.

She was so right.

I feel pity for my friends who spend hours a week, months and months on end, most of the time over a year, at the swimmingpool.
And still the children are not able to swim well enough.

I'm proud of my girls.

Fenster boarding School

march 7 2008

Oh, how I wish we had the concept of Fenster School in this town!

So many schools could learn from the positive attitude towards young people.

I just got a letter from the school of my ADHD-boy.
They'll leave for a trip to England in almost two weeks, so we need information about times, phonenumbers, things to take or not to take, etc etc.
But the tone of the letter... I didn't like it at all.

I know they have some bullies there at school, but my son certainly isn't one of them. So I think they'd better send this kind of letter to those parents and just tell my kid to behave well and take his good mood with him. That's more than enough.

We don't have a boarding school for troubled teens in this town anymore. In the past we had.

Like Fenster in Arizona, founded in 1944 in a beautiful area.
With people running the school, who believed in the potentials and talents of young people.

Fenster Boarding School is the best place where young people take control over their life again. Without bullying and all other behaviour that distracts pupils from achieving academic success.

It's important for all young people to be between people who believe in them.
That makes focussing on schoolwork so much more pleasant.
Each week grade reports are presented, so there's no need to wait months for a compliment.
And when a student fails a test, not everything is lost. Assistance is provided and extra creditwork to bring up the grades as fast as possible.
That way self esteem is enhanced and there isn't time to feel depressed or discouraged.

No wonder people from all over the world apply for a place.
So there's an added opportunity at this school to learn from other cultures, and to learn to appreciate other beliefs and opinions.

The school offers many outdoor and extra activities, like horseriding, ropes courses with climbing tower, weight lifting, swimming, etc etc. (Who says boarding school is boring? It's not at Fenster!)
The parents decide which activities are allowed, how much funds the students can use, and the school appreciates close cooperation, so the achievements from school can be continued at home.

results of the national tests

march 6 2008

The girls got the results from the national exams.

One of them scored right the amount needed for the school she wants to attend.
The advice from school and her score point exactly in the same direction.

It feels so great to have a child without problems.
Imagine that all 6 would be as easy.

Her twinsister is dyslectic.
She's a very wise and understanding young woman, and she's far more intelligent than the tests showed.
In fact, they had her made some tests that shouldn't be done in paper by dyslectic kids.
The advice on the test was for the same kind of school my autistic boy and his ADHD brother attend(ed).
No way I want her to go there. It's a place full of bullies and kids that seem to have no manners. I don't weant her to go there.

She wants to go to the same school as her sister, and I have the same feeling.

So we went against the advice of her present school.

The national test showed she scored a little bit under what is needed to be admitted to that school.

So we have to go to talk and make them understand that she is the right person for that school.
She shows character, responsibility, persistence. She wants to go there and succeed.

And I feel they have to give her the chance, no matter the testscores.

stay at home mom

march 4 2008

Someone asked me what I do all day.
I'm just a stay at home mom.

Well, my last day was, without details, filled with this:

• 6.30 waking some of the children and their dad. The shower runs, the pile of wet towels grows.
  Also the pile of sandwiches, and row of other breakfast food and drinks.
• 7.00 the first one leaves
• 7.45 the second boy leaves... late.
• 8.00 the girls leave. After I've given one of them a letter for the teacher.
• 8.05 boy 3 passes me upstairs and jumps under the shower.
• 8.15 after asking and begging I can finally shower too.
• 8.30 I'm leaving home with wet hair.
• 9.25 after bycicling and 2 busses I arrive for the first meeting
• 9.30 meeting with son 3 and his psychiatrist. The diagnosis PDD-NOS is nearly ready.
• 11.00 after a coffee I'm at another building and meet with son 2 (ADHD and dyslexia) and his therapist.
• 12.05 short talk with the secretary to ask her to present my son's psychiatrist a form that needs to be signed.
• 12.15 Running helped to catch the buss.
• 13.00 I'm too late to have lunch with the girls, so I eat something with my autistic son.
• 13.15 Mail, laundry, vacuuming.
• 14.15 call from an educationadvisor for an intake. We want advice or help to get my autistic son at a good school, if there is any......
• 15.00 try to work a bit.
• 15.15 girls arrive home with a letter from the teacher. She tells me she wants me to come to school at dinnertime, because she has a babysitter at that time. I explain to the children that she invited me for a meeting. Considering the normal rules of etiquette she has to be as polite to make me choose the time. (I have 6 kids and no sitter).
• 15.30 motivating kids to clean their room or 15 minutes. In the meantime I try to work.
• 16.00 mail from school about a problem with one of the boys. Ugh! Writing a reply while there is loud noise from drilling and hitting bricks. I'm happy I can still hear my thoughts.
• 16.10 starting preparations for dinner while trying to help one of the girls with her bagpipepractice.
• 16.20 son arrives home. He needs things for school. Mailing his dad to buy it and bring it with him on his way home.
• 16.25 while the boiling water is playing around the potatoes, one of the girls is practicing on her chanter and the drilling and hitting goes on, I work a bit.
• 16.45 mail from a friend who is journalist. He sends me an article and he wants my opinion... NOW.
• 17.00 soup is ready.
• 18.00 dinner is gone, the dishes are ready. The drilling stops and the world feels empty.
• 18.05 helping with homework.
• 18.20 one of the boys comes home and tells us it snows outside!!!
• 19.00 homework is ready, I try to work a bit with a cup of coffee.
• 19.20 talking with the girls. Then they're off to bed, I do the dishes and answer the phone to advice a collegue about a client.
• 20.00 I want to watch the news on TV, but I fall asleep.
• 20.15 fresh and wide awake again. Having a look at the girls, clean the bathroom.
• 20.30 the father of the kids arrives home from work. Update about the day. Discussion about the attitude of the teacher. Split up tasks that needs to be done tomorrow.
• 21.00 Holby City on TV...for me!
• 21.50 dealing with a hungry autistic boy, check laundry and fold the dry items, try to work a bit online, try to find out which articles of the law are dealing with the renovation noise in the neighbouring home. Talk with son 3 and a bit later a long talk with son 2. Help a friend with website.
• 23.30 try to get two boys take their meds and wave them to bed.
• 24.00 walking with son 2 near the lake. Enjoying the stars and trying to get used to the cold. Walking neighbourhood surveillance. It's quiet.
• Visiting some online friends, keeping an eye on the elections, start the laundrymachine again, clean the kitchen....
• 3 in the night..... to bed.

sms filters for cellphones

march 3 2008

The Netherlands:

Providers of cellphones enable an sms-filter.
The filters can block paid sms services.

The filters are developed to prevent sms spam and to prevent children to download a free ringtone without knowing that by downloading they are stuck to a contract of expensive payd ringtones.

With the filters parents can block the phones of their children for unwanted services.

Now we can only hope the children aren't as quick with discovering how unblocking works as they were with discovering how to go around certain computer protections. LOL!