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Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

another forgotten appointment

may 22 2008

Dealing with autism is a day to day challenge.

Today we were waiting for the oldest to come and do something with the computer of his autistic brother.
He was expected before dinner and said he wanted to eat with us.

Great!!

We were all very enthousiastic, so we made a nice dinner, with tomato soup and a lot more.

But he didn't turn up.

His ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) must have taken over, because when he was called he didn't even realise why, untill he was told.

In the meantime I was trying to keep my autistic son calm.
Which was quite a job.
He was telling he was forgotten, his brother didn't care and the whole lot.

There are days I feel like an intepreter, trying to make people with strange languages understand each other...and failing.


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The files

may 22 2008

Went to the school of the girls to have a thorough look through their files, before they are send to the new school.

Two girls, twins.

One of the two had about 5 pages of files generated over 6 years at that school.
The other had well filled maps. One for each year.

So it makes me feel there are things either missing, or removed.

Things have been happening in the past that haven't been... let's put it this way: a compliment for school.
They've made some huge errors which had a tremendous impact on our girl and our family life.
So I guess these files were removed before we were allowed to have a look.

The teacher who sat with us has been unkind all year.
She was dealing with personal problems and it was clear parents didn't fit in her daily schedule.
Now she was very nice and talkative, feeding my feelings of suspicion.

Maybe large parts of the files were too wet to be saves after the huge fire.
Point is, that my girls then had her classroom in the other part of the school... and the files were saved in that same building.

It's no use arguing about this, but it was well worth tackling the subject and making clear that mistakes the school has made in the past should by no means interfere with her future schoolcarreer.
And...by the way... we are still waiting for an apology from the people involved.
It's not a good feel to leave school without finishing and closing that matter...

While she was talking to me, and getting answers, I looked through the files, Pointed out some things.
I could see she thought she had my full attention.
Well, I can do two things at the same time.

So in the end I wrote some things down, and handed her the paper.
"I want these things removed from the files".
She said it was no problem.

"I see that none of the files is properly labeled. How can you be sure you're able to find them next year, when they're in the large archive?"
So I suggested she'd better order Primera labels and organise things properly.
It's also important because the schoolinspection stated in their report of last year that the archive was a mess. I told her that I knew for sure they would be back in september to check up on their instructions.
She looked amazed that I knew this, but I didn't say anything more about it and took my bag.

I'm not completely sure I have seen all the paperwork.
So I'll ask a friend to go there too with the same question and then we can compare our experiences.
School doesn't know we're friends.

Isn't it an ill way of dealing with things?

But hej, I want my girls to have a good start at the new school.


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Final exams - history

may 22 2008

Another day of final exams.

We had quite some alarms set, and 4 people awake to get the man-wannabee in question to rise up...and shine!... early in the morning.

We managed to wake him up in time, to get him leave in time.

Today history is the subject. His least favorite.
WW1, WW2, Israel and some other historical areas I've completely forgotten.
Well, I'm way past my finals. LOL!

He has choosen for the fulltime study in economics, instead of the parttime.
I'm glad the strategy I've choosen worked well.
I took him to the school to be informed, gave my own information and told him to talk with some other people, weight pros and cons and make a decision.

He's the first one in the house who is doing his finals and I have to say it's true: moms are more nervous. LOL!


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On the warpath...

may 14 2008

This morning we were on the warpath for our girls.

The schoolprincipal has made some serious mistakes in the past and never ever took the effort to apologise.
He should have. It was painful and stupid enough.

But life goes on...untill today.

No, we weren't going to get that wellmeant apology.
It will never come.

We wanted to have a thourough look through the files of our daughters before they are send to the next school.

School had just begun, and he wasn't in his office.
We found him talking with someone.

When I addressed him he looked up like he'd seen a ghost.

I know he tried for three years not to meet me in person. LOL!

We told him what we came for, but he managed to escape by telling us he was too tied up at the moment. So maybe after school....

After school the message was that we could get in contact with one of the coordinators.
She said we could only have a look, no copy and she was very disturbed by the request.

Interesting!!!


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the night of the 13th

may 13 2008

I should have looked at the date when I went to bed.

When I was pushed straight up at 4.19 hours, I should have done it too.
The sound which made me freeze into a sitting position in my bed was from my son.

He was yelling against his computer.

The windows were all open, so the whole world must have come to a halt.

He couldn't sleep, he told me, and his computer didn't work. And the whole world is a mess.

I couldn't agree more with the last statement, but I doubt if he cared.

I closed the window of his room and turned.
He stared me straight in the face and then started his litany of all his complaints.
Included were the weather (twice), the other children, his computer, school, the government and a lot more.

So I told him to go to sleep, now it all was out.

No, he wasn't going to sleep, because he couldn't sleep at all.
The book I first suggested was stupid, the other was intentionally too girly.
Well, OK, then he would take the first one.

By that time I was angry on the whole world myself.

Why didn't I have children that are normal and are sleeping in no time when something woke them up during the night.

A big spider was using my bathroomwall to have a walk...NO WAY!!

By the time I was sure he was dead I was so wide awake that I didn't fall asleep anymore.

And my son?

He was sleeping with a book by his side like a sweet teddybear.





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the same psychiatrist, oh my dear!

april 29 2008

Talking to other parents with an autistic child is very worthwhile.
With 4 boys with Autism Spectrum Disorder I'm always able to recognise something in the stories of others.

Now I'm being more active in my town people start asking questions or spontaneously start to share their experiences.
Sometimes I know I can help.

Last week I met a woman who told about her autistic son and the psychiatrist they were having troubles with.
I recognised her story and asked carefully if she wanted to tell me the name.
Yep, like I thought, she was complaining about the same person.

Because she had some questions that couldn't be answered at the schoolgate, I was invited over to her home.

I expected to be away from home for a bit over an hour, but I should have taken my pyamas with me.

Her son showed the same behaviour as my autistic son, had exactly the same problems with medication, etc etc.
And, like the psychiatrist reacted to our difficulties, she listened while looking at het watch with intervals of 10 seconds, mumbled about institionalisation and precribed the same meds before opening the door and smiling.

I've sworn to myself that I would jump in whenever I heard the same story about this psychiatrist as ours, and so I did.

When I asked her if she wanted to have her child in an institution, she said she was afraid it would end that way.
Her son even told the psychiatrist the last time that he thought she didn't care about him at all and that he had the idea she wanted to put him in a nuthouse.

That is not what autistic children should deal with!!

So we made a plan to get him better help,
I told her where to go for special assistance at school and how things are organised around the paperwork, and I was strengthened in my feeling that more moms in our town should meet and talk together.

So I'm going to organise a meeting soon.






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workshop: Going to the Heart of Autism

april 19 2008

East Lansing, MI
Going to the Heart of Autism (workshop)
June 13-14, 2008 (9:00 am to 4:30 pm)
Instructor: Dr. Steven Gutstein
for: teachers, parents, and everyone else.


Dr. Steven Gutstein, a psychologist, created the RDI (Relationship Development Intervention) program.
He reviewed the scientific literature about autism and he defined 6 core deficits each autistic person shows. These deficits show no improvement with age.


  1. Emotional Referencing.
    That is the ability to learn from the exsperiences of others.
  2. Social Coordination.
    That is the ability to control one's behaviour in such a way that one can engage in spontaneous relationships.
  3. Declarative Language.
    That is the ability to use verbal and non-verbal language to express emotions, share them and coordinate actions with others.
  4. Flexible thinking.
    The ability to adapt to changing circumstances by changing plans, opinions, etc.
  5. Relational Information Processing.
    The ability to extract meaning from a larger context. Like solving problems that have no clearcut solution.
  6. Foresight and Hindsight.
    The ability to use past experiences in a creative way to anticipate on (slightly different) future situations.
All these core deficits have one thing in common: the lack of use of creative/dynamic intelligence.

Most people with autism are very able to use static intelligence. They're good in memorising facts.
But they lack flexibility and the creativity to respond properly to new situations.

RDI makes people more aware of the natural pathways.
It enables people to put normal processes into words and slow them down.
By creating simple settings and well defined behaviourtargets, one creates more succes-experiences and enables to get insight in what a child needs to develop further.

The program uses parents as a means to teach the child.

In the workshop the following areas will be duscussed.

*-Research results on the quality of life for people on the autism spectrum

*-The developmental path unique to people on the spectrum: including the concepts of absolute vs. relative thinking, imperative vs. declarative communications, and more...

*-The basic principles of RDI: Guiding and Pacing, creating an Experience-Sharing communication environment, capturing episodic memories, teaching Functions before Skills, determining developmental readiness, and developing competence

*-The essential elements of a RDI lifestyle

*-Video clips of 'RDI in action' with parents and children and clips from the first two years in the life of a child with autism

*-The importance of frameworks and of the concepts of evolving and modifying frameworks

*-The advantages and the processes of forming dyads and small groups

*-Research on the effectiveness of RDI

*-RDI with teenagers

*-RDI implementation in school settings

I have a problem with the theory of Mr. Gutstein.
He overlooks the fact that autistic children are able to share feelings and emotions.
And not all autistic people have a complete deficit on the 6 areas.

He surpasses this problem in RDI, because it's a highly individualised program.

I like RDI because it's a positive approach.
It makes people aware of the potentials a child has.

Many parents realise that RDI is a more explicit approach of what they do already.

Teaching a child to tie the laces of the shoes works best when the complete action is broken down in parts.
An autistic child not only needs to learn the individual actions.
It also had to learn to synthesise these individual parts, an autistic child also needs to learn that he can tie his laces at school, on the pavement, and can also tie the laces when they are wet.

I think it's a relief for parents to experience the success of the individual steps.
Dealing with an autistic child without having attention for the details is a very distressing experience.



For more information:

http://www.rdiconnect.com/workshops/viewAssessment.asp?wid=145
Brad Andreessen
Email: bandreessen@rdiconnect.com
Phone: (713) 838.1362 x130




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    The oldest and education

    April 15 2008

    The oldest finally got the letter of admittance to a special school which fits his educational needs.

    He's got asperger syndrome and ADD and we feel this is really a new start.

    When he was young he was considered shy and clumsy.
    He walked in a strange way, but apart from telling us he needed fysio, no one thought a bit more about it.

    When he went to school he didn't socialise much and seemed to be in his own phantasy world.
    At times teachers made a remark, but immediately told us it was not allarming.

    When we went for check-ups we were told not to worry so much.

    It's almost the classical story.

    At college he was told to work more and more organised.
    He was called lazy.
    Far too often.

    Even when we went to see a childneurologist (now a professor) we were told not to worry.
    He scanned him, had a psychologist have a look and told us all was fine.
    He wouldn't be very social, but the world florished with scientists, and he sure had all the intelligence to become one.
    Maybe one in the computer area, as he had a large interest in laptop computers.

    Well, he became a computerfreak, but school didn't went well, and he was never able to finish a year, because he simply wasn't able to live up to the expectations.

    Then he dropped out of school, and became even more of a computerfreak.

    But where to skip all the normal schoolrequirements and get a specialised education?

    It took more than a year to get him diagnosed and years to find someone who knew the ins and outs of the whole world of disability income and education.

    He's now moved to a trainingshouse, and can start at a special school within two weeks.


    Some people don't understand why it took so long.
    Well, when you told professionals 23 years ago that you thought your child had asperger syndrome, you were told you were nuts yourself.
    Not in so many words, but they all said I was wrong.
    The consequence was that he got all the support he needed from home. But a mom can interfere with school and others areas of life only so much.
    So he didn't get all the support he needed untill the knowledge and awareness about asperger syndrome and ADD was more widespread.






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    autism - school - and an invitation of the law

    april 2 2008

    Waking up was a kind of surprise.
    It has been ages ago that I slept more than 4 hours. Wow!

    Ofcourse the whole family needed to shower at the same time.
    Leaving me 5 minutes.
    Well, I was downstairs on time, at the meeting on time... without feeling any stress.
    What a bit of flu can do. LOL!

    This time the schooldirector himself took the lead, which made the meeting far more quiet and to the point.
    I had one item on my agenda: making clear that I want no talking behind my back, because it leads to people wanting to save their face and reputation at the cost of the children and the parents.

    Right after his opening sentences and a sip of coffee I had the chance to jump in and say my bit, with the example I wanted to give. (I can't give it here for privacy reasons).
    It set things straight within seconds, so we could start talking about the future of my autistic son.

    Ofcourse they wanted him to come back to school.
    And ofcourse they wanted to make adjustments.

    But they made them a year ago already, and it didn't work.
    It's not about the amount of hours spend at school, it's about the amount of requested social interaction.

    Right at that moment a group of girls has a lot of fun, just in front of the window.
    They giggled a lot, talked with high voices, even we had to smile.

    Perfect to explain how some children with autism experience walking to the schooldoor.
    So many noises, movements, lights... and they make no real sense...
    It takes effort to complete an understandable picture, but there is no time, because new sensory stimuli draw the attention, kids that talk, sounds of the schoolhall...

    The schooldirector gave the impression he understood a bit.

    When a normal classroom wasn't an option, maybe he could study at an empty room.
    He can do that at home...

    So the focus of attention shifted to choosing another school.
    They had no new options... the schooladvisor has given them all last month.

    So we agreed that he won't finish his final exam, but will stay subscribed at school, just to do what the law wants.
    The schooldirector said he couldn't unscribe my son, but he can. And I told him so. But subscribing would mean an investigation from the schoolinspection, and that's what they don't want.

    Almost at the end of the meeting it turned out that it was not the initiative from school to invite us, but the council's wish.

    Thought so!!

    It's the law that all children have to attend school, and there are only a few exceptions.
    Homeschooling isn't allowed here.
    Nor is staying at home.

    But there aren't enough places for children with autism.
    That's why my son had to struggle so hard the past years.
    He had to go to a normal school, with almost no support.

    He was promised a place at an auti-class, but wasn't accepted the last minute.
    Going back to the normal school isn't an option anymore.

    So if they want to bring me to court.... so be it.

    At home I found an envelope... with the invitation to be heard by a representative of the council.
    A year ago I would have been stressed out.

    Now I could only smile.

    I don't care she mentioned the numbers of the passages of law.

    I don't even care to be questioned.

    My child is autistic and can't cope with the schoolsystem.
    There are special faciolities for autistic children and he was referred to them.
    But there aren't enough auti-classes available.

    I haven't created the problem, nor has my son.
    Society falls short.

    According to the human rights I should be able to choose the education which is best for my child.
    I've choosen.
    They can't deliver.

    I'm not the only one confronted with this problem. Not at all.
    This year about 50 children with autism won't be able to find a place at an auti-class.

    Which means I would be able to start an auti-school, when I had the money and the support.

    I have promised myself that when I will be brought to court I will use all media, all magazines, to make people understand why children like my son can't survive at a normal school.
    I will use all means to make clear in court that it's the duty of the government to create the school he and other autistic children need.

    Ofcourse I'm trying to convince people now.
    I'm not waiting untill then.
    But when there's the excitement of a mother of an autisic boy being brought to court, the media will jump on it.

    So for now I'm waiting for new developments.

    How does the lady of the council react to the report of the meeting of this morning?

    I'll let you know.


    And now I'm off to nurse those who are still ill here. (You see, moms can't be ill themselves.)
    Everything else has to wait untill tomorrow.





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    autism awareness month

    april 1 2008

    April is autism awareness month.

    I will try to post at least every other day about an aspect of autism.

    Parents of autistic children probably will recognise many sketched situations with a smile or a tear.

    It's unbelievable how many parents all around the world are fighting to give their children all the support they need, all the love and much much more.

    You can leave your link here, so I can make a list of all the post you have written about autism.

    Feel welcome to ask your question!

    You can come back here to find the latest additions.



    articles:

    Many years ago my little daughter died.

    march 31 2008

    Many years ago my little daughter died.

    She was not ready to be born, but her spirit moved away before I could hold her in my arms.

    It was early morning when I went to hospital, knowing I had to give birth to a baby that wasn't alive anymore.
    The misty waves crept between trees and shrubs, the traffic went slow and some trafficlights didn't work for unknown reasons.

    The feeling of surreality stayed with me when I entered the huge hall of the hospital, carrying a secret no one could see and no one would see.

    The long corridor was sliding away under my feet, like time was slipping through my hands.
    I was going to give birth, without happiness, without life, not knowing how this would change my life, transform me.

    Oh, the nurses were kind, almost unseen.
    The gyneacologist a friend, who was afraid to look me in the eyes.

    But it was not his fault part of nature left me on a dark lonely evening.
    He was only the observer.

    While the morning sun swept away the moisture of the night, I waited with a drip in my arm, a book unread on the table.

    Hours went by. Soft feet. A few hesitant smiles.

    The contractions started.

    A new doctor counted my pulse and started to speak words that were meant to comfort, but he sounded like a hoarse crow scraping it's throat in the early morning.
    I was not in for a fight to keep my own feelings dictate my actions, I didn't want to be polite and take the feelings of other people into account.
    Not today. For once, not today.
    So I asked him to leave, never to come back.

    I didn't need to be told that most pregnancies end well.
    Being a mom of 4, I already knew.
    Being a mom of a deseased baby I also knew the grief to come.
    No boy of 24 with acne and trembling hands while counting my heartbeat could easy my pain with booklet words and wisdom.

    All what was conforting was that many women before went through the same and survived.
    I knew I would become a better mom for my other children, and more aware of nature, of life.

    The clock counted the hours, until we counted how long the contractions lasted.

    Then she was born.
    She was beautiful on my hands.
    There was no room for tears, because even in death this little baby brought serenity to my life.

    Half an hour later I was rushed to the OR.
    I was nearly bleeding to death and there was no room available.
    The 5 minute wait was almost too long.

    Later I was told it was a miracle I was still alive.

    To me that was science, a good gynaecologist and the gift of donorblood.

    The miracle was that this little dead baby has changed my life.

    Now reason, no war, nothing can be an excuse to kill people,
    because the silence of death lasts longer than any war ever will.




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    Some good news.

    march 21 2008

    Some good things happened this week, and I'm very glad, because the scales of life needed to be a bit more in balance.

    The psychiatrist of my autistic son was completely happy with the choice of school for him.
    We won't know if there's place untill may, but we can take it from there.

    Because my son will be at home for some weeks we took the chance to completely change his medication.
    It was needed, because the Risperdal caused a tremendous weightgain and a hypothalamic disregulation, resulting in continuous hunger.

    I'm glad we took the chance.

    I asked him if he could help us to get a dyslexia declaration without the enormous costs.
    He jumped on it and arranged that my daughter will be checked for ADHD and dyslexia. Resulting in the so much needed declaration.
    Because it's a psychiatric consultation with neuropsychological assessement it's free!!!

    I'm so happy!!!

    I hate puberty!!

    March 21 2008

    We were waiting for a signal that our travelling son would be in the country again.

    Nothing.
    And it got later and later.

    The girls fell asleep. They couldn't wait any longer. They had been so happy he was coming home.

    Then finally he phoned that he was 10 minutes from school.
    Meaning we couldn't be in time to fetch him.
    But his oldest brother went through the terrible weather to help him with his bags.
    He took him to his room, gave him dry clothes, food and a drink, and was trying to arrange to get him and his bags home as dry as possible.
    Meaning that we all would be waiting at the bussstation with plastic and raingear.

    But he didn't come home.

    He first went to his girlfriend, without even a call home.

    When he arrived home at midnight he was disappointed that everyone but me was asleep.
    He'd imagined the homecoming we had prepared him, hours ago.

    Problem is that he reacted in such a way that I feel bad his homecoming wasn't more pleasant.



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    Update schools: mom is mad!!

    March 18 2008

    As a psychologist I'm interested to see how people turn and wiggle to cover up their mistakes.

    As a mom it makes me very mad, to see that people are going behind my back, and are dishonest at the expense of my credibility and my son's education.

    Instead of asking us how things are going the schoolcounsellor went behind our back, and got misinformed.
    Instead of saying that she was, she tried to talk herself out of it...putting the blame on someone else... and creating a picture of me as a liar.

    We've asked the school with the auti-class if there was a possibility to admit my autistic son there for schooldays in combination with him doing his final exams at the former school.
    Well, those who read my blog know they didn't want to.
    Case closed.

    We got some suggestions to get him into some kind of educational situation, which were all crap.
    One of them was a school in another town, needing special admission papers to get it payed for, with a system that grants my son far too much freedom to do nothing and required him to ask all the questions and help himself. On top of it, it has the same final examsystem as the auticlasses, so he wouldn't be able to do his exams this year.
    So enough reasons to say no.

    I would have known if the woman had suggested that socalled school together with exams at the former school.
    It would means stress of travelling, stress of everything, adjustment and exams within a period of 2 months... if ever we would get the paperwork done within days.
    So an impossible suggestion.

    Now the schoolcounsellor is telling that the other school suggested that.
    Forget it!!

    A meeting is planned in april with the schoolleader, and I think she very well knows that meeting will blow the roof of the school.
    I don't want my son to go to school there anymore.
    One of the reasons is that they told us they were dealing with him based an a kind of IEP (individualised educational program) whereas she had quite a lot of meetings about making one and she never came up with one.
    She magically produced one when we needed the paperwork done for the auticlass, and everyone knows she faked it.
    To be precise...she's seen my son this year only once... one of the reasons he didn't want to go to school. They just didn't care.

    I hate it when people start lying and playing unfair.
    All I can do is expose them.

    On top of it I got an insight in the costs for the dyslexia declaration for my dyslectic daughter.
    More than 760 euro.
    And when I want to have the intelligence test done, the WISC, it means 1520 euro!!
    That's 2,376.95 USD
    Can you believe it??????

    Want to know some fun? I have a dysectic son too. And he needs the same.

    It makes me feel sick.
    I could hardly keep my tears in when I was reading it, and I've spend the rest of the afternoon trying to hide I was crying.
    What helped were your kind reactions. Thanks so much for your support!!!

    I'm so tired of all these rules and regulations.
    They're not helping the children..at all!

    Well, tomorrow morning I'm going with my son to his psychiatrist.
    See what happens there.

    My life feels like a soap opera.



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    infuriating misunderstandings

    march 15 2008

    I start to fear the letters from the school of my autistic boy.

    This time it was written by the schoolleader.
    He was informed that my son wasn't attending lessons at the new school (the one with the auti-classes).
    He was also informed that my son was able to attend classes there, but that he can't do the final exams there.

    I just about went through the roof.

    Wasn't that precisely what we requested after we were told there was no place for him? (A place to be and exams at the other school)
    And they told us even that arrangement was impossible, because it was too disturbing for the other pupils!!

    The schoolleader invited us for a talk to get our son as soon as possible to school. Date: april 2.
    I guess that's as soon as possible for him, but it creates a whole new concept of time for us.

    He'd also send the letter to the the guy of the council who came here a couple of months ago to intimidate me with court when I didn't send my son to school.

    Well, it really got me going.

    So I sat down and mailed to the school with the auti-classes that there is some huge misunderstanding.
    How come we're told that there is absolutely no way they want him to attend classes and the school is told he's allowed to attend classes, but can't do his final exam?
    One of us is informed wrong.

    I also asked her to send me a letter stating that there has been a procedure of admittance, which failed and why.

    Then I mailed the councilguy, telling what's going on, so he or his collegue is informed.
    I'm not sure how he'll react.
    When they're informed a kid is not at school they'll pay a visit and then fine the parent or get the person to court.

    His former visit here resulted in a complaint about his behaviour... one of his female collegues was visited even before my son went to school. I was worrying about his autism already at that time.

    I guess the guy will visit again next week, unless I can set things straight between the auti-school and the other school, and one of them or both will report facts and not fiction.

    By the time I has those mails finsihed my blood was cooking.
    I'd mailed the educationadvisor the copies, and them a mail between us telling how fed up I am about all these issues.
    They take so much energy, and they're all about people not communicating and listening well.

    He reacted quite nice and pointed out it's important to find a school for my son untill the next schoolyear starts.
    Well, that's nice, but there is no school available.

    In fact the auti-class was the last chance.

    Maybe I have to get more troops in to support us in this matter.
    Someone to take with us to the meeting at school.
    Someone who knows enough about autism to make clear my son can't deal with school.

    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr



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    one of those autistic days

    march 14 2008

    Yesterday was "one of those days" in a family with autistic children.

    I needed to bring a wardrobe to my oldest. A friend offered to drive, so I had to depend on her time.

    I was gone part of the afternoon, untill the girls came back from school.

    It shouldn't have been a problem, but I guess it was too much a change of routine.

    My autistic son had such a bad mood, stamping on the stairs that I was afraid it might break, being unkind to his sisters, yelling.

    I felt like I was punished for being away to the birthday yesterday (just 1 hour), and for being away this afternoon.

    Sometimes it takes more than just one deep breath to take distance, and today was such a day.

    I nearly refused to cook, but it would make matters only worse.
    So I cooked. Plain, healthy, nothing special.
    And for the rest I ignored him, which was kind of difficult.

    When he finally showed some signs of feeling guilty we were all fed up with his behaviour.
    We know, it's his handicap.

    But there are days I'm just too tired to deal with all these problems, and there are days I just want normal children, have fun with them and enjoy life.



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    wrong paperwork

    march 12 2008

    I'm so tired of pointing out mistakes at organisations and such.

    I needed a form with a signature for my ADHD son which mentions his psychairtists name, his meds, the days he's in england and a signature.

    First I had to mail them AGAIN yesterday morning to remind them.

    The mail brought it today, surprisingly fast.
    I wanted to put it in his bag, but one reason or another I thought I'd better read it.

    "leaving and returning march 17."

    Ugh!!!

    I said "leaving the 17th and returning either march 20 or 21."

    So I had to call again.

    I often feel I'm the secretary here. (When I'm not the nurse, psychologist, pumber, laundrywoman.... well, you get it.)

    Finishing school

    march 12 2008

    The girls are in their last year of basic school.
    The tests and most of the preparations for the new school are done.

    So today they've heard that they will get a letter about the "goodbye" musical very soon.

    They were so happy about it.
    They're so looking forward to their last main event at school.

    To be honest, my mind is far more bussy with the question whether they are admitted to the new school, and what needs to be arranged in time.

    I still have no proper answer from a testing institute on my question how much it costs to have the dyslexia declaration of one of the girls,

    This morning we had one more try to have the present school take care of it.
    They promised.
    But they're not doing anything at all.

    I can understand that things are very difficult now the teacher is very ill.
    But the life of the girls moves on.

    selective perception

    march 12 2008

    It's amazing how fast some people can react on some mails and "never see" other mails.

    I wrote yesterday about bullying.

    His teacher wrote back in no time.

    There was no need for him to do the presentation, because the bullying was very bad indeed.
    They would take action today, and she hoped he would enjoy his trip to London.

    I wrote back.
    Thanking her ofcourse.

    But also telling her that he's not looking forward to the trip.

    I also wrote down some comments on the way the last paper of my autistic son was valued.

    Isn't it strange she didn't see those comments at all?

    education advice.

    march 11 2008

    The educationadvisor came yesterday.

    It was a very nice man, who looked quite familiar.
    I think I know him from the time I took walks with my grandmother through her neighbourhood.

    We had a good talk about some problems we have met.

    And he came up with some ideas to find a school, or educational opportunity for my autistic son.

    They were not all very helpfull.

    I think that the normal mailcourses, which have been available for ages, can be of help for grown ups who want to get a diploma, but those courses ask too much independence.

    He also gave some options which were way too expensive and some options which are worth looking into.

    I don't have the confidence he can help us out.